I Will Write

I will write…
I will write poems…
I will write poems about the writing of poems;
I will write poems about betrayal:
The betrayal of a friend
The betrayal of a lover
The betrayal of my body by my brain
And my brain by my body.

When I have a tremor and my
hand skates across the page in a breaking line;
snapped like free verse.
When I have a tremor and my I
becomes you and I do not know
who holds this pen and what I am writing.

Still I will write.
Inscribe that one still trembling moment
Where the light thrown through the window
Reveals all my secrets, the suicide’s emblems,
the arms and armour of despair
of one who had hoped to set fire
to the minds of a generation.

This is why
I am writing this poem to my self to tell me
where I have gone,
and what I did when I was there.

And maybe, if I am lucky, how I got back.